Rebounds..no go

I have an appointment with one of the diplomatic embassy, am going to check on some papers that I need for a shortcourse that I am applying for in Zanzibar.
I know my life right now is surrounded by a lot of work, am just trying to strategise everything, to ensure that in the near future, finances wont give me ulcers. I have to admit I dont know what its like to live with someone, and have them take care of some of your worries for you. I stand alone here, sometimes am not sure if I should just say,,, am single, single people do this you know!
Its different to be single, and you want to be two people, and you are looking forward to be two. Its another things to be single, and it doesnt matter if anyone is here, or if you are just one. Am going to hit 30 and everyone would be saying like they say now....why isnt that beautiful gal not getting hooked up..., and they would be trying like they are doing now, to set me up for dates. This wounds are too raw to let someone thru right now. I tried, I mean I dated Tom for a few weeks and he was nice, but I couldnt put up with his macho ideas for a man.... Then Stanley and I went out for two dates and he was nice, but I was distant, yet he didnt know I was an empty shell inside..... there has been dates....1...then 2...then I just give up.
I dont want to try so hard to fall in love again.
Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it takes months..... to get bak on your feet again, and I know the most important thing is when I finally get bak on my feet, I would be standing on the ground steady as a rock.
I dont want to hurt anyone, by going for a rebound...... it can be a rebound for you, while for him, he has met the love of his life, tread carefully when you think getting hooked up with someone, will lessen the pain you feel right now. Holding on to the hurt, the pain, the agony, denies you the chance to love again, but mixing the pain and the yearning to belong, and be loved , is a recipe for disaster. Ease the pain, heal the hurt, love gain.

"I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine. (Song of songs 6:3)