Eligible

Even the most eligible bachelor gets pin down by someone they truly fall in love with. That is what love makes you do, doesnt matter if you are the wondering soul, flying like an eagle, living like a bird, with all cares cast away, someday when you are not keen enough, it just hits you....****Love****
Then it starts changing you and fitting you in its schedule. If you are as busy as I always claim to be, been on this desk 24/7 you start getting time to do other things. Love stops you on your track, says hey look, I would really love to take my time and suit myself into yourlifestyle, but my clients are many, the best I can do is to let you twist your stuff aroung my schedule. When you take time to smell the rose.... love is already home. Like I always say, you just know it, when you get the love bug. What am I blubbing about it?
Because am scared, I know am strong but am scared. An old friend of mine has been proposing that he thinks we can make a good coouple. He is really nice, respectful, gentleman in all the ways I can think of, but there is something that I dont feel in me, I love him with the Love that God put in us. But that is how far it goes. I know have looked at him severally and I know from the bottom of my heart I wouldnt like to wake up by his side, that I wouldnt like to be the mother of his children, and that I wouldnt be there in "sickeness" because am not even there "in love". Is love just a delusion? I know what loves smell like because I once loved, am I expecting too much from others, or am I not trying too hard?
Are there second chances with love, or am I seeking for a gone thing. Does it only happen once? Will life pass me by while am asking all these questions or should I take my chances now and grab myself some man. One of my girlfriends just called she had a baby daughter today in the morning, and I was happy for her and so envious too. I really was, am a few days from my birthday, not in a serious relationship, not trying to hard to get into one,and the taste for everything I used to want aint there no more, and am scared this might take longer than it should. No one, nobody, nothing is stopping me from meeting someone, except this deep hole in my heart, am too distant,detached if somebody gets too close, and this once in my life i dont know the solution to that!!!


And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God. Ruth1:16