To marry or Not?

Angela's death just blew me out of myself. I started looking at things differently in terms of how I had placed my priorities...then that ex- boyfriend of mine is on my neck with loves issues. I have never forgiven myself for getting into a relationship with him, because I thought it was right at the time. Well it was right in someway, but I knew it was just a rebound, for me, I dated him because I needed somebody to be here, but that short time we went out has been like a lifetime of stalking fom him, and trying to get it in his mind that I dont want to see him anymore. He has pleaded, promised me heaven, fought, and still am saying No, it was a big mistake! But that is how far it goes, the other day he requests me to do some business for him in the country, I said what the heck.... I will just be helping him and easing out my giult. After the deal was done, he goes like... "please tell your parents we would like to get married, so that when i come home we can get engaged" WHAT!
I dont even imagine him been my husband, leave alone its been a year since i physically saw him, he just called me up some time last month and ask me to some business for him, does that interprets to love?

Help me out here, another girlfreind of mine thinks am letting a good thing go, but how can it be a good thing when I dont even haveit, for all i know somebody just wants to get me settled because he thinks he is running out of time. My question to all the married people out there, did you do it for and with love, or did circumstances just come down on you?
There are things in life that i have a conviction, and one of them is that when I will say I do, it would be with lots of love in my eyes, a furnished apartment doenst make a home,if it doesnt feel like one, my eyes see things differently, and all this pressures that everyone is trying to heap on me, is making me all tense..... I want to do it for love......it might jusst be an illusion, but am I so wrong? Please for those who have been married..... give me a clue!