When I have some victories, I wish there was someone here I could say cheers too. True friends are so hard to come by, some are passers by, some are just hanging around till something else comes along, and i still cant believe that the probability of finding, one true friend gets tougher with time, and am aging, and missing out, and my heart is still broken into pieces, yesterday while sleeping I remembered this one night, when he picked me up from the seat, held me in his arms and started slow dancing, my head on his shoulders my hand in his, and the other arm around his neck just dancing, with no music except the heartbeating, I refuse to accept that you are gone, and I refuse to accept that there can be another you
Do we get second chances at love? At friendship? At family? Do we, coz have been waiting a long time now............. There was only one Thomas, and there was only one Maxy, and there could be only one Tomax.
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You know.. you will be able to love again. I look to my husband's Nanna who is 91. She was a widow for a number of years, then in her 60's met a man, got married and they're still married.. almost 30 years on.
Though it seems impossible.. as you move into the future that God has for you.. your pain will be lessened and you will be more 'present' in the 'present'. You won't be thinking of the past as often as you do now.. you won't be crying as much as now.. if at all. Things changed to get to where you are now.. they can and will change again. Your heart will mend. Life will feel 'normal' again one day and you'll have a life that you cannot possibly imagine now.
I hear you re: friendships. I crave the same. Just one good '3am' friend.. meaning.. a friend that would be fine with you calling at 3am if you were in a crisis..and would go to you. It's such a precious thing that you know your Saviour. He is ready and willing to hold you and walk with you forward.. taking your pain.. and giving you beauty for ashes. He'll do that for you. Keep praying about it and making yourself open to contact with other folk. You never know how God will use others to bless you. They may even be stepping stones to what he has for you. It's important not to isolate yourself no matter how tempting that can be. Just believe. I will pray for you too. :)
p.s. I've found that even online contacts help me get through a day.. It's still someone touching base with me.. it makes a difference.
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