Extra ribs

I know everyone expects to have content that will finally attract some to read it. But I ask myself what content do I have in my life. I see beautiful people, things, buildings, and I know am supposed to feel like am here living it all. I wanted to go back to college, and am seriously thinking about it, but questions go through my head.....what if life cuts me short before am there. What ifs are so many that it blinds my eyes, the eyes that I see with, the eyes that my heart sees with, its leaves a gaping hole and a wound that is taking so long to heal.
At time am strong, and my feet is firmly on the ground, then thoughts of you show up in everything I touch, and am not sure when God made ribs He made extra ones, just in case you loose the first pair. Because I feel like there is this part of me lost without you, gone with you, and time doesnt seem to erase that. My loss , our loss hit me the hardest and now the longest, am not going to wait for some prince in shining armour to sweep me off my feet again, I got to live the life I have now, I quest for a freind more than anyother thing I seek. Someone who doesnt ask a lot of question, nor doesnt need any reason, nor doesnt wait upon answers. I can wait on time anymore......I hope that my thoughts are not a prophet message of doom...everyone deserve a second chance, and I have it, its a gift from God, am just finding myself before I can take it up.