Because God loves me so much,
I feel good today, because I read somebody's story, and they were not whining as I do, they are in pain and not dying by it, and still thanking Jesus for one more blessings. But what makes me feel so good is the story of the widow, the widow who got love, and lived the love for 30more years. Am smiling about that, because there is hope, and hope is a good thing to have, I feel my heart rising like the morning sun, and glowing, and my eyes feels like they have some shine on them, and my blood believes that story. But whats more is the wanting to wake up tomorrow, the want to see the next hour without feeling sad and guilty, and denying people the chance to know me, by building people-proof walls around me!
I was born to be strong, a first born to lead, to be looked up to, and I dont know how else to do it, but be strong even when am in need. I want to let my hair down for a day, cry because I should, but every time i let my guard down am scared, scared that if they know they wont want me, and the only person who knew is gone,.................second chances are hard to come by............am looking forward to tomorrow, praying that this feeling hangs in here....
3 comments:
Hello, it was remiss of me not to come here sooner.. it's been just over two months.
I was touched to read about your uplifted spirits here on August 19, I felt my eyes 'mist' over. So pleased for you, for that day. The story of the widow is such an encouraging, life-giving promise of 'hope'. I hope you hold firmly onto Gods promises and what he will do for you.
I notice you didn't publish my last comment.
I hope you're ok.
Hi Maxy,
checking in with you.
Hope you have had some sunshine in your days.
In the last few weeks my husband has asked me out to lunch twice and he now approaches me at church and we talk sometimes.
And he's been emailing me with pictures of chairs as he needs dining room chairs but doesn't want to choose them without my approval (seeing as they will be my chairs too).
When?
I have no idea.
But the progress has been considerable.
And the amount of spiritual warfare I've had as a result. Boy. Attacked left and right. Because I'm also losing weight and trying to change my life that way and implement routines and disciplines. The enemy is trying to take me down! The attacks of discouragement have been thick and hard.
But I keep going.. I don't want to give up. I'm not perfect.. but I hope to do better.
Anyway.. just thought I'd share it with you.
Cheers,
Maria.
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